girls screenshot everything and then send it to their friends in a group chat and then laugh at people and that is why you should never trust us
Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it’s always fun to see Tom faint.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
"Darren Criss here, live from my kitchen. This is where I get the best light."
I have to drink five pints of hot coconut water every day, with a little garlic salt, some splenda, and a splash of hot sauce, and then you basically jog until you hallucinate.
i’m here for the ladies → kate austen
But you asked me a question. You asked me why. Why I did it. It wasn’t because you drove my father away, or the way you looked at me, or because you beat her. It’s because I hated that you were a part of me, that I would never be good. That I would never have anything good.